my blog closes
voila, just a message to tell all my readers that I stop to write a last note, I'm a bit nostalgic but I really find myself in this blog, I'll create a new BCP will be less personal and completely anonymous.
has dios:)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Sleep Apnea Hemoglobin
anxiety of the blank
Words come and go, overwhelm me, over me everywhere and I feel overwhelmed, I feel like taking a sheet, a pen and write but this time they leave without a trace, leaving me alone with my white sheet, subsections are created in my head, text, a whole book, and in the same way they came, they go , escape, leaving me and leave me alone.
A god, and god knows how much I hate goodbyes.
ideas, projects in the future, just like words, surprise me Over me and hope is reborn, and I started to build dreams, house of cards, I surrender to my desires, I yield to my desires, I go into another world and then suddenly reality catches up with me, and I forget all my projects, all my dreams and desires and all I begin to live every day without thinking about nothing, I found my routine that I protect my dreams, my words and my ailments.
The desire to drop everything, to erase everything and find myself in front of a white sheet, a sheet or I will rebuild my life as I please, as I have always wanted, may be a fantasy, a myth, but I do 'm not a goddess I am human and I have the anxiety of the blank
Words, just words, nothing but evil words, and I quit writing and I opt for dialogue, but I do no ear, all my desires, my desires and all my dreams are for other than the whims of a girl who can not exceed a teenager, who can not sever ties with the childhood.
I speak, I try to convince, but I must first convince me, and no one encouraged me, and nobody takes me seriously.
I speak, at least try to speak, but I know I have never mastered the art of discussion, listening, I can do but talk, I am totally incapable.
I need to find myself face to me and talk for hours because I have the ability to listen, I know identify problems in others, even if I do not communicate, I know exactly Does the person in front wants to hear what she needs to hear, and what it must necessarily hear, I take all these nuances and confuses me, but this gift will serve me is nothing because I can not argue with me ..
I need advice, a order to be little, but my quest is vain.
white sheet, I want to start all over again, send everything in the air, to believe in myself, but am I ever believed in me?
The answer is no, an emphatic no, not one that hurts me deep inside me.
I'm only 20 years, my life is before me, I can still take risks, succeed or even fail, logic says, but I am able to overcome a failure?
I want to fuck everything in the air, get my degree next year, put it in a frame, the offer to my parents, in token of obedience, and start a new era, one where I am the master of my life, an era where nobody will decide in my place.
Words just words, evil, nothing but pain, then I allow myself to do something crazy once in my life, something which for me is full of meaning?
The answer I get it soon, I Ponder, I think, sometimes I find it ridiculous, sometimes I feel so good in the middle of my dream, and meanwhile I'll hide my game.
What I will do next year? mystery mystery, everyone will know in due course at the last moment, when no one can influence me, guide me or tell me what to do.
Words come and go, overwhelm me, over me everywhere and I feel overwhelmed, I feel like taking a sheet, a pen and write but this time they leave without a trace, leaving me alone with my white sheet, subsections are created in my head, text, a whole book, and in the same way they came, they go , escape, leaving me and leave me alone.
A god, and god knows how much I hate goodbyes.
ideas, projects in the future, just like words, surprise me Over me and hope is reborn, and I started to build dreams, house of cards, I surrender to my desires, I yield to my desires, I go into another world and then suddenly reality catches up with me, and I forget all my projects, all my dreams and desires and all I begin to live every day without thinking about nothing, I found my routine that I protect my dreams, my words and my ailments.
The desire to drop everything, to erase everything and find myself in front of a white sheet, a sheet or I will rebuild my life as I please, as I have always wanted, may be a fantasy, a myth, but I do 'm not a goddess I am human and I have the anxiety of the blank
Words, just words, nothing but evil words, and I quit writing and I opt for dialogue, but I do no ear, all my desires, my desires and all my dreams are for other than the whims of a girl who can not exceed a teenager, who can not sever ties with the childhood.
I speak, I try to convince, but I must first convince me, and no one encouraged me, and nobody takes me seriously.
I speak, at least try to speak, but I know I have never mastered the art of discussion, listening, I can do but talk, I am totally incapable.
I need to find myself face to me and talk for hours because I have the ability to listen, I know identify problems in others, even if I do not communicate, I know exactly Does the person in front wants to hear what she needs to hear, and what it must necessarily hear, I take all these nuances and confuses me, but this gift will serve me is nothing because I can not argue with me ..
I need advice, a order to be little, but my quest is vain.
white sheet, I want to start all over again, send everything in the air, to believe in myself, but am I ever believed in me?
The answer is no, an emphatic no, not one that hurts me deep inside me.
I'm only 20 years, my life is before me, I can still take risks, succeed or even fail, logic says, but I am able to overcome a failure?
I want to fuck everything in the air, get my degree next year, put it in a frame, the offer to my parents, in token of obedience, and start a new era, one where I am the master of my life, an era where nobody will decide in my place.
Words just words, evil, nothing but pain, then I allow myself to do something crazy once in my life, something which for me is full of meaning?
The answer I get it soon, I Ponder, I think, sometimes I find it ridiculous, sometimes I feel so good in the middle of my dream, and meanwhile I'll hide my game.
What I will do next year? mystery mystery, everyone will know in due course at the last moment, when no one can influence me, guide me or tell me what to do.
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