a cigarette in his left hand, a glass of coca right hand and I looked at my cigarette burning, which goes up in smoke, and I hope my demons go up in smoke.
A glass of cola that I liked mixed with whiskey, but I have none, my bottle is empty and my head is full.
I'd like to be drunk, now, immediately.
Being drunk to have clearer ideas because I can not do it by being sober, all is contradiction in my head.
I wanted to write because I can not speak, I have nobody to talk to, I would like to write to understand.
My hands wander over the keyboard and hope that these buttons will bring me the truth, an answer, a hint, a clue to the truth.
I write and I reread it, I shall reread later, I reread the entire text and hope it will give me an answer right.
All alone in the dark with my dark thoughts, Sunday evening, the eve of a religious festival, a sacred festival, some eat their assida, and I enjoyed my problems and I want to get drunk the night before the mouth of this Day, blasphemy you say? I do not care , That is what I want.
I do not understand, I do not understand, I am completely unable to interpret my own reactions, I do not know what I want, I want to capture the elusive, touch the untouchable and understand the incomprehensible, the truth, I am looking for the truth.
You wait for an explanation, I know, but I have no valid explanation has to give you, I would like to send you my thoughts for you to understand but I doubt that you could do.
You were so nice and I was so mean, you were so sincere And I was so wrong, if you were correct and I was so loose, you're attached to me and I was also a cold iceberg and you do not deserve.
So I broke in the most cowardly of all: a text, faithful to my cowardice.
I'm sorry, I have treated like shit, but you are far from being, it is I who am. I would send you
this text, send you the address of my blog but I will not, my good old faithful cowardice.
I throw a bottle into the sea, I edit the text in the hope that Someday you'll fall over and that it helps you to understand.
Thank you for being so nice to me and I ask your forgiveness because I did everything that you cling to me as I knew from the start that I could make you a lift.
I was not satisfied, I am, and I will remain, eternally dissatisfied as some say and I can not help it, I do not even know if I want to change.
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